My Fellow Sister/Friend Wives-
Marriage is everybody’s business so it is essential that every husband and wife develop a vibrant relationship. I don’t mean that the details of your marriage (positives and/or negatives) are everyone’s business, but the institution of marriage is because the failure of marriage can be the breakdown of society. If our marriages are going to grow stronger through the years, both spouses must work together as a team toward the same goal or objective. We may have differing views on how to achieve the shared objective and will have to work through those steps, but we keep the same ultimate goals in mind.
As we near the end of our Wife Up Challenge, I would like to leave us with a few ongoing action items to do with our husbands.
- Pray Together – Try to set aside time each day to pray with your husband. George and I pray together in the morning, but not consistently, so this is something that I will intentionally seek to do going forward. When we think about what the day ahead holds for our husbands, our love and care for them goes beyond the physical realm to the emotional and spiritual realm. This develops true intimacy with each other and with God.
- Read Together – Set aside time each day, or at least once a week, to read the Bible together. This can also be a joint time of devotions and again helps develop your intimacy in the spiritual realm with each other and with God.
- Make Decisions Together – Commit to making important, major decisions together, such as financial decisions. One of the greatest areas of strain in a marriage is the area of finances. As a couple you should discuss your finances on a regular basis, even if one of you is better at paying the bills. George and I struggled with this early in our marriage. We both assumed that because he was the man, he would pay the bills. Big mistake. George thought paying the bills on time meant paying them when we received the second or third notice in the mail. After one too many times of having the electricity and phone cut off, we decided I would pay the bills – so far so good. We then ran into trouble with our joint account – we were both spending money but not communicating until we started getting those notices in the mail for insufficient funds (this was before bank cards and electronic banking). We keep no secrets about our money and we have no secret separate accounts because we believe that keeping secrets about finances drives a wedge between couples quickly. It creates an opening for distrust and is a set up for division, allowing Satan a way into the relationship. If you agree to come to mutual decisions on how the finances are handled, this will strengthen trust between you and your husband. Also, you won’t be able to keep secrets from each other if you commit to making all important family decisions together. This is one of the best ways to develop trust as a couple.
- Attend Church Together – Get involved in a church together. Find a place of worship where you and your husband will not only attend together, but enjoy serving in a ministry and making Christian friends together. Although George and I had our individual home churches, after we married, we visited a few churches before deciding on one that was right for both of us. We worked together in ministry and built wonderful relationships. Hebrews 10:24-25 says that one of the best ways we can stir up love and encourage good deeds is by remaining faithful to the Body of Christ by meeting together regularly as believers.
- Continue Dating – Do not ever stop dating. Set aside special, regular times to continue developing the romantic aspect of your marriage. After marriage, couples often neglect the area of romance, especially after having children. Keeping the romance alive may take some planning on your part as a couple, but it is critical to maintaining intimacy in marriage. Keeping the romantic love alive is also a testimony to the strength of your Christian marriage.
Thank you for taking this journey with us. I trust this is not the end of our purposeful practice of being the wives God calls us to be, but hope that we will continue to be faithful, supportive, diligent and intentional in fostering a healthy marital relationship and encouraging one another.
High Calling Ministries
401-A Prince Georges Blvd
Upper Marlboro, MD 20774