Submission

by Deborah Anderson

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In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NLT)

Women of God,

Take it one step at a time, but take a step. Ask God to show you where you could improve in an area of submission.

Show your husband the love of Jesus Christ even when you feel he doesn’t deserve it.

If we want our children to be obedient, or in our jobs–if we have positions of authority and we want our staff to follow directives, we must be first to be that example. When we start to submit to God in areas in our lives where we are being stubborn, we will begin to see a change in our spouse, in our marriage, and in our homes.

The commitment you made to your husband was made to God first.

Keep Jesus at the center of your marriage and don’t allow anyone, not even yourself to get in the middle.  We can’t continually watch tv shows or listen to music that glorifies fornication, adultery, profanity, etc. then expect to see a change in our marriages.  Reality TV is filled with gossip, deceit, hatred, arguments…that should not be our reality! Don’t allow those negative spirits into your eyes, your ears and into your homes.

Instead of giving your husband a piece of your mind, subject yourself to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to lead on your behalf.

While you are serving in your marriage God will do a work in you.  Submit to the Lord, delight to do His will…His will is His word. How can you do God’s will if you don’t know His word?  Read the word, speak the word over your husband, and over your family…there is life and death in the power of the tongue. Speak God’s Word that your husband is the spiritual authority over your home and trust that God will honor His Word!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

Be Blessed Women of God!

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Beyond the Expiration Date

by Charmayne Carter

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 “But the time is coming—in fact, it is here—when you will be scattered, each one returning to his own home, leaving me alone. Yet I will not be alone, for the Father is with me.  I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for I have overcome the world.” John 16:32-33 (TLB)

We live in a society where we look for happiness, we pursue the good feeling–the “green grass” of life–and oftentimes we even search for this in marriage.  However, the moment when something looks or turns out different than expected we’ll start complaining and contemplate walking away.

The enemy’s sole purpose is to do anything to make you lose sight of your purpose and promise, by any means necessary.  He wants you so shocked and controlled by your situation that you lose focus and say, “I didn’t sign up for this.”

If you lose your focus and give up you’ll let the enemy win… You will allow him to steal, kill and destroy your hope.  Then the enemy will successfully block you from your promise.

The devil doesn’t care about you; he will use anyone/anything he can–your finances, your boss, your coworkers, your children…even your husband!  However, Jesus already forewarned us that we will experience hardships.  Jesus also reassures us that we have the victory because He has already overcome the world!

When your trials come do you usually try to negotiate with God for the end date? Is there a time limit to your faith or will your faith outlast the expiration date that you put on God for your problems?

I encourage you to stay focused.  Meditate on the devotions that Wife UP has provided for you on our blog, and be doers of God’s Word.  Trials are guaranteed to come, but persevere and pursue your promise.

Happy are those who are persecuted because they are good, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. “When you are reviled and persecuted and lied about because you are my followers—wonderful! Be happy about it! Be very glad! for a tremendous reward awaits you up in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted too.   Matthew 5:10-12 Living Bible (TLB)

 Maya Angelou stated, “Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you…yet, someone survived…You can do anything you choose to do.”

The enemy will try to make you feel isolated; he will make you believe your situation is new on the earth and no one has ever experienced what you are going through.  The devil is a liar…don’t let him win! Keep going! God is working it out for the good (Romans 8:28) and he is preparing you for your next level.

Dear brothers, is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.  James 1:2-4 (TLB)

Solomon, one of the wisest men in the Bible  wrote these words of wisdom in Ecclesiastes 9:10-12 (NLT):

I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time.  People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy. Ecclesiastes 9:10-12 (NLT)

This scripture is commonly misquoted as “The race is not given to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but to the one who endures to the end.”  However, Solomon explained that time and chance happens to anyone who is living.  Events in life happen to everyone–good and bad.  If you desire to experience victory in your race, endure to the end.  Keep running with endurance, keeping your eyes on God’s promise (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Take off the expiration date and trust God…your time is coming! 

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Keep Working

by LaTonya Holloway

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Here is the problem: We Christians are facing great dangers to our lives at present. In times like these I think it is best for a person to remain unmarried. Of course, if you already are married, don’t separate because of this. But if you aren’t, don’t rush into it at this time. But if you men decide to go ahead anyway and get married now, it is all right; and if a girl gets married in times like these, it is no sin. However, marriage will bring extra problems that I wish you didn’t have to face right now.
The important thing to remember is that our remaining time is very short, and so are our opportunities for doing the Lord’s work.For that reason those who have wives should stay as free as possible for the Lord; happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God’s work. 1 Corinthians 7:26-30 (TLB)

Read 1 Corinthians 7

Meriam-Webster defines work as an “activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something: sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.”

I want to encourage all the wives, especially those who are on the verge of divorce, separated or debating separation, or feeling alone. I encourage you to ignore the threats that are around you can keep going!!

Ignore what your natural eye sees, ignore what your natural ear hears…ignore the emotions that make you feel like giving up.  Do not stop fighting, don’t quit praying, keep believing because God has equipped us to tap into the spirit realm, to go before God directly concerning our situations.

We have all access to God and we CAN go to Him anytime about anything at any time.  YES YOU CAN!  Remember this is just spiritual warfare (Ephesians 6:10-18).  Once you recognize what spirit you’re fighting you can NEVER lose!

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Change Your Focus

by Melva Hall 

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Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes]. James 1:17 (AMP)

I remember when I was younger I used to pray to get married. I prayed for God to bless me with a wonderful husband.  Now that God has answered my prayer I realized I don’t always express my gratitude for the gift God has blessed me with.

If you claim that your husband is a gift from God, are you showing it?

When you’re focused on the good things in your marriage, negativity will disappear.  Being thankful has the power to change our mood.  If you are struggling with expressing gratitude I encourage you to start a gratitude journal.

  • In your journal, write down something good that your husband did, or that you love about your husband each day.
  • When expressing gratitude, don’t just write it down or text your appreciation, tell him!  Talk to your husband face-to-face and tell him your gratitude.

So often God gives us gifts and we don’t express gratitude to the Gift Giver who blesses us.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William ArthurWard

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Speak Life, Change Your Language

by Sabrina Monroe

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“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
‭‭Eph.‬ ‭4:29‬ ‭NIV‬‬
When I look through the Wife UP Support Group, at times I see some comments that aren’t always positive.  They don’t always respond in a way that supports the Wife UP mission, to love, build, empower and restore women in their marriages.
Seek Counsel Before Advising – Pray and seek God about your motives and heart before advising others, to not further weaken someone’s spirit with futile language because of one’s own hurts/experiences.
“Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.”
‭‭1 Cor. 8:9-13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Keep away from negative thinking that can influence others. We have the power to change our thinking and language, we have the power to break yokes.  However, if we speak opinions from a place of negativity or of hurt we run the risk of pulling someone down instead of building them up.

Yes, we want to speak truth and “keep it real,” but dependent on the circumstance your truth may not be their truth.
The way you’ve experienced hurt may not be their level of hurt.
What you’ve gone through may not be to the extent of what they are enduring or have endured.
Unless it’s life-threatening, be careful in how you help another cope and handle their affairs.  Your wise counsel should be of accountability and love.  God hates divorce and it’s never our place to condemn another, speak negatively, suggest that anyone leave their husband only having a glimpse of the picture.
The best support to give is love, accountability, and encouragement to press, even through the bad.  Here’s a few things to remember when it comes to marriage:
  • Marital Stress Can Cause Mental Stress. We don’t know fully the stress caused by the trials one goes through, nor the darkness, fear, or pain someone is enduring.
  • Our Minds are the enemies playground. He’ll have you thinking all kinds of things because he despises  marriage.
  •  Be Mindful of the Things we Tell Ourselves. “He don’t deserve me,” “I deserve better.”  Instead ask yourself, “have I done THE WORK?”  “Am I perfect, is our spouse perfect?”
  • Point the Conversation Back to God, the Creator of Marriage.  We can’t change our situations alone, it can only be done with God and positive language to fuel the change.
We are our sisters’ keeper, so let’s change our language so that it builds up and benefits the one hurting, not cause more harm.
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Respecting Our Husbands

By Erica Applewhite

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You may have heard these quotes…

“Your husband needs your respect more than he needs you love.”
“You were not created to compete with your husband, but to complete him”
“Behind every great husband is an encouraging wife”
“Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.”
“Marriage is a gift to God, the quality of our marriage is our gift to Him”

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”  Ephesians. 5:33 (NIV)

What is God saying to us in regards to our husbands?

He’s saying respect them, reverence them, treasure, honor and hold them dear…
He’s saying allow him to lead and be adaptive to his leadership. That’s not me telling you; it’s God.

We are the atmosphere in our home and this is not something light; this is our direct charge from God. He gave us the authority to set the atmosphere–to set the environment, mood and the influence in our home.

If God gave you the authority to set the atmosphere, what kind of mood are you setting in the home?

Do you always have an attitude?
Are you always pointing out your husband’s faults and shortcomings?
Are you harboring on what your husband gives is never enough?
Are you the nice-nasty wife who cuts with your tongue?
Are you a negative, always have to be right type of wife?
You don’t even have to say anything…do your gestures and actions reflect your attitude?

You cannot influence your home when you walk in that spirit.  You can’t build your husband if you are always critical of him, and you can’t empower if you patronize him.

God charged us to exemplify the fruit of the spirit in our marriage, to create a God-glorifying environment. (Galatians 5:22-23)

In Genesis 2:18, God knew that man was going to need help, so He created us to complement our husbands. However, we do not complement our husbands or give them value if we speak against them.

Set a guard over my mouth, Lord;
    keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 (NIV)

Your role is importanteven when your husband gets on your nerves don’t say what your flesh wants to say.

Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:4 (NLT)

Speak in way that builds to your husband, it gives him life.

The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives],
But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles]. Prov 14:1 (AMP)

If you find yourself not respecting your husband, know that you are influencing your entire household.  Therefore, be mindful of the words you speak to your husband, be intentional about the life you speak to your husband because you are the thermostat in your marriage!

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Join us tomorrow on the wives conference call at 6:00am (EST).  Dial: 1-515-604-9300 Access Code: 308840.  On  Wednesday, November 23, 2016 we will fast (your choice) and pray for marriages from 6am – 6pm.

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To Fight God’s Battles

by Marcia Gibbons 

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1 Samuel 25 The Message (MSG)
14-17 Meanwhile, one of the young shepherds told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, what had happened: “David sent messengers from the backcountry to salute our master, but he tore into them with insults. Yet these men treated us very well. They took nothing from us and didn’t take advantage of us all the time we were in the fields. They formed a wall around us, protecting us day and night all the time we were out tending the sheep. Do something quickly because big trouble is ahead for our master and all of us. Nobody can talk to him. He’s impossible—a real brute!”
18-19 Abigail flew into action. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep dressed out and ready for cooking, a bushel of roasted grain, a hundred raisin cakes, and two hundred fig cakes, and she had it all loaded on some donkeys. Then she said to her young servants, “Go ahead and pave the way for me. I’m right behind you.” But she said nothing to her husband Nabal.

Additional Studies and Recommended Reading

Step 1: Understand Why Your Partner Is Being Stubborn.

Maybe you aren’t seeing the logic behind your spouse’s decisions. Try to see it in their perspective. Sometimes our judgment gets clouded by anger or frustration.

What are you missing? When you are learning how to deal with a stubborn spouse, remember that being in a relationship means you are ready to work out your differences and make sacrifices.

You are bound to have some differences; but trying to understand where your partner is coming from is the first step to resolving these.

Step 2: Pick Your Battles.

When your spouse just won’t back down, don’t waste your time trying to argue, nag, yell or complain otherwise.

If it means too much to your partner, let them know that you support them this time. Make them understand, however, that when the time comes that you are in the same position and it means more to you, you would ask their support in return. Choose your priorities and be willing to “lose” the rest.

Step 3: Take A Positive Approach.

The key to knowing how to deal with a stubborn spouse is to avoid hostility or violence of any kind. Fighting or freaking out is never the answer. Hot tempers will only bring about verbal or maybe even physical attacks.

The important thing is to keep a cool and level head, so that you would be able to talk or negotiate the issue calmly and reasonably. There is nothing a good talk can’t solve.

One way you can tip the balance in your favor is to present new evidence or proof that confirms the validity of your point. Oftentimes, ego gets in their way; but when you present new proof, their agreement will be perceived in light of that evidence and not because they changed their mind.

Learning how to deal with a stubborn spouse, especially when they tend to become narrow-minded, can be challenging. However, be patient and keep in mind that learning how to handle this power struggle can guarantee a happy and successful relationship.

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Join us Wednesday, November 23, 2016 as we fast (your choice) and pray for marriages from 6am – 6pm.

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The Marriage Trap

by Sharlene Hawkins 

>> CATCH UP ON PREVIOUS DAY 
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
    fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
    and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
    keep your foot from evil.  Prov. 4:25-27 (NIV)
Read Galatians 1:6-11

We are in a fight for our marriage, and the battle is a spiritual warfare. Our war has to be fought in prayer, on our knees, and in our hearts. Don’t be intimidated by what the world tells you to do.

Beware of Distractions – Distractions will pull you and take your mind away from marriage. Satan comes very subtly.  At times we can be pulled in multiple directions that seem right  (such as work, parenting, taking care of elderly parents, church obligations, etc.), but Satan will use those things to distract us from what’s important.  Even our children can be a distraction!

Be Aware of Distractions – Stay in God’s Words and be in prayer so you will recognize Satan’s traps.  Be led by the Lord and the things you commit to, because family is a priority over your other obligations.

Whenever you say yes to something or someone, you are saying no to your husband.

Ask the Lord to Renew Your Mind – Our society has a different view of what marriage looks like. An “anything goes” mentality is all-encompassing these days. Continue to ask God for insight and direction on the things you need to do in your marriage.

Renew your Commitment – not just the words you expressed to your husband on your wedding day, but your commitment to God when you stated your vows. In Your marriage do not try to please man or do what society tells you to do.

Our commitment is to God, because marriage is an institution created by Him.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Psalm 51:10 (NIV)

Ask God to Clean Your Heart. God is committed to us; He didn’t waiver in His love for us. In that same spirit ask God for a clean heart so you can forgive and love your husband the way that Christ loves us. In our own strength we can’t make it–we will want to give up and we will be weak, but through Christ all things are possible.

TASK: I charge you to be doers of the Word, not just hearers, so you can experience victory in Your marriage.
Join us tomorrow on the wives conference call at 6:00am (EST)
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Learn. Grow. Serve. Together.

by Towanda Coles 

>> CATCH UP ON PREVIOUS CALL
Read Acts 18:23-28
Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

We’ve all heard it said, “what you feed will grow”. The same is true in our marriage relationship. We cannot expect our marriages to grow spiritually without intentionally looking for opportunities to grow in GOD’s word together. 

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed”. Ecclesiastes 4:9

Priscila and Aquila are a biblical example of a couple who served the Lord together. They were inseparable and enjoyed being together. In Acts 18:1-3, we learn that the Apostle Paul became acquainted with this couple and even lived and worked with them for a time. As a result of the teaching of the Apostle Paul, Priscilla and Aquila met the Savior and they grew in the Word together. Oh how much more their lives were enriched!

They grew to love GOD’s word. They made the study of the Scriptures a priority for them as a couple. In Acts 18:26 we see them lovingly share the way of GOD more accurately with Apollos.

The revelation here my dear sisters is that this couple saw an opportunity to come along a young man who was in need of a greater understanding of the Lord Jesus Christ. This couple is the epitome of what it looks like to learn, grow and serve together. 

As you and your husband follow GOD’S path for your lives, look for seasoned godly couples who can help you grow and mature spiritually.

Their input is a gift, not an insult.

GOD is glorified by the careful giving and humble receiving of sound spiritual doctrine, correction, and encouragement. 

I encourage you to:

  • Pray that GOD would surround you with godly seasoned couples who can speak life, truth, rebuke and encouragement into your relationship. It bears repeating, their input is a gift, not an insult. 
  • Ask GOD to reveal to you creative ways you and your husband can grow and learn about GOD through the Scriptures together. It’s important that you allow the Lord to lead you in this area as your husband’s style of learning may be different from yours. Be wise in your approach. 
  • Seek opportunities to serve in your local assembly together. 

Nothing makes the adversary more angry than to see a couple that is determined to learn, grow and serve together in the kingdom of GOD. 

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Our Words Matter: Affirm Him

by Ericka S. Black

>> CATCH UP ON PREVIOUS DAY
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV

God wants us to encourage and build up one another.

We have to extend this encouragement to our spouses. With life circumstances, sometimes we forget to effectively communicate with our spouses.  Most often, we do not use words of affirmation to build up our husbands. Since we are human, we tend to focus on tasks that our husbands did not complete or items that were not completed to our satisfaction, like a supervisor.

When we primarily focus on tasks, we began to chip away at our husbands’ self-esteem. Our husbands will begin to hear their inefficiencies more than our love and appreciation for them.

The world is already constantly chipping at our husbands. Instead of conforming to the patterns of the world, wives, we have to create a refuge for our husbands. Despite life’s challenges, let’s constantly give our husbands words of affirmations.

The power of affirmations transformed my marriage. My husband now understands how much I love and value him. As a bonus, he even gets more tasks complete. A little extra affirming goes a long way!

TASK: Resolve to provide more words of affirmations to your husband.

It’s as simple as sending our husbands a daily text message. Below are some sample text messages:

  1. God created you perfect just for me.
  2. I’m blessed to have you as my husband.
  3. I appreciate all that you do for our family.
  4. Thank you for the sacrifices that you make for us.
  5. Thank you so much for being a great provider for our home. You are such a hard worker.
  6. You’re my hero 🙂
  7. I love you!

The little things can make the greatest impact.  The big things are obvious, but the small things are oftentimes overlooked and can negatively affect our marriages.  Focus on the small things!

Prayer:  Lord, we thank you for our husbands. Give us the strength that we need to encourage our husbands.  In the midst of life’s circumstances, we know that You are our Sovereign God and that You are in control. Thank You for continuing to strengthen our marriages. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

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